Where oh where has my mommy gone?
I'm not even sure just how to write it anymore.
For reasons only known to her, my mother left again, on Monday, taking her medication with her.
My brother gave me a call, all angry and fired up. She had left the keys in the post box, took some of her cloths along with the medication. Left no note and didn't bring her phone with her. "She's going to get it when she comes back. I don't care anymore, once she comes back, I'm going to take her straight for an injection." were the angry words of my brother. I was not angry, just upset, and really sad.
I really thought that she had put it all behind her and finally settle down, but she became more and more restless over the pass few weeks. Mainly, her complains were about my brother not treating her very well. For all his eagerness for us to stay together previously, in the end, it was my brother who spoke to her the least, ignored her the most, and ordered her around the most frequently.
To save on expense, he decided that since my mother didn’t do anything, she would cook for their lunch and dinner. He worked nearby, so he and our house mate would come home everyday for lunch. I only ate at home a couple of times per week. She felt pressure to cook up a reasonable meal twice a day, especially since my brothers friend, who was renting with us, would be eating to. What more, my brother was call her lazy whenever she was lying down not doing anything. The only times he seemed interested in talking to her was when he wanted her to make something for him to eat (which was often) and when he wanted to tell her what to cook for tomorrow.
He spends most of his time with his buddies from church, and refuses to go out with my mother, or take her anywhere, except when its to the supermarket. He gets upset when she expresses her concerns or worry; he gets angry when she asks him to not come home late, or not to play so much games. He gets angry when she talks about her thoughts on taking medication, on her wish to one day be free of any sort of medication. When I wasn’t around, my mother tried talking to him about him about her not taking the medication; perhaps she was just upset or restless, but my brother told her right off, saying if she doesn’t comply, she can leave right away.
I am not sure why my brother resorts to such threats to easily, but it made her feel very uncomfortable, and confided it to me that night.
So far a guy who has been on my back, accusing me of not putting family over my love life, my brother hasn’t really been a shining example. He has said in the past that I didn’t care much for the family, and seldom called just to say hie, while I would call my girlfriend multiple times a day. So ever since my mother moved in with her, I made it a point to spend time with her as much as I can. When I wasn’t spending time with my girlfriend or working, I was spending it with my mother. I brought her out for dinner, long evening walks and exercise sessions and sometimes just chatting in the living room. It was then that I found out my brother hardly spoke to my mother like a normal person, more like just a servant girl to be ordered around.
After speaking to my brother, my mother called from the bus station. Unlike last times, she was in no way in a relapse or disoriented. She knew what she was doing this time. She called to tell me she was going up north, and the key was in the post box. She didn’t know when she wanted to come back. I told her “Just go and do what you need to there and quickly come home.” This was not another episode of mental relapse. This was my mother, in her own self, unable to find peace at home. I asked her “Why are you going off? Aren’t you and I supposed to go up Genting next weekend?” She and I were going on a church retreat up a mountain resort next week, something she had been looking forward to. It was her reply that really got me so sad. She told me “I want to go, but I don’t know how I am going to take it once we come back, since you will be leaving soon after than. I don’t know what I am going to do for 3 months without you.”
She had said that before, and though I tried convincing her that 3 months was a short time, she still felt that she wouldn’t be able to take it staying with my brother alone.
In all honestly, I didn’t blame her. Her relationship with my brother was not balanced. My brother dominated her, and pushed her around, and she couldn’t take it. At times like this, I worry. He has all the potential signs of being an abusive partner, emotionally and at times, physically. He does it to my mother, who knows what will happen with his future wife.
I felt that I was spending one of the best times I have had with my mother. We talked about her youth days, about how I met my girlfriend, what it was like back when she was young, basically going down memory lane. I thought her how to play songs on the computer, and compile a list of her favourite songs with the title “Ma’s songs (please click here)” … it was to remind her how to turn on the songs.
I don’t think she deserves an injection when she gets back. Though it saddens me, I know that this time, she left knowing what she was up to. Again, my brother has shown that despite all his talk of family, he has no idea what is going on in my mothers heart.
posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 5:13 pm
Comments: 1
