Saturday, February 07, 2009

Ob-la Di, Ob-la Da


You know that song by the beatles? Ob-la di, 0b-la da, like goes on.. bra.... Well, I guess life does go on, whether we like it or not. I had one of the most special days in recent months when I spent the entire day with a whole bunch of friends who were back from overseas for the Chinese New Year. Since in a way, I was playing host, I spent the entire day with them, from the morning at 10am up till 11pm at night when they were due to fly off back.

These were friends that I made during my time in Sheffield, many of whom, upon leaving Sheffield, I never really expected to see again. That was slightly more than a year ago. But boy what a difference a year can make sometimes. You kwe now how you associate a certain group of people with a certain time of your life.. well, these people were, and will always remind me of my time in Sheffield. They were the people that welcomed me, befriended me, upon their homes and lives to me, and made my stay a memorable one, even if it was just for such a short time. So, when I suddenly found myself sitting amongst all of them, right here in the heart of KL, it just felt so weird, but in a good way. I frankly told all of them "It feel like the entire Sheffield has come to KL." Which may not be literally true, but to me, these people were everything that it represented. I sat down with the entire group for a few hours trying to squeeze conversations with as many people as possible. To my surprise, quite a bit has changed. Some got married... some were getting married... some had to return to Malaysia and couldn't return, others finished their studies and it was time to come home. But mostly it was that many had left, either back to Malaysia, or had moved away.

For some reason, it was quite sad to me.. Not that it made any difference to my own life, but somehow, the ideal in my head that these people were part and parcel of Sheffield was gone. I always imagined that if I ever went back to there, it would be to see those people.. but now I know even they aren't there anymore. So what would be the reason to return then? Its then that the fully realization hits..... I didn't fall in love with just the place... I fell in love with the people. No doubt the place was nice, but without the people, it would be just another pretty place. I decided to quit rambling on about going back a long time ago... because I realized that what i was longing for was not a life there.. but a life away from the one I had...the one with real life problems...... problems with no simple solutions.

But anyway, back to the topic. There were 2 friend who shared their feelings with me about the crossroads they were facing in their life. One was a guy, who finally upon finishing his Ph.D had to make his journey home for good. He was there for 7 years, from the day he first stepped in as an undergraduate, to the day he walked out Dr. XXX Ph.D. He made a life there, came to know God there, grew up and matured from a rebellious and rageful teen to active church leader and caring brother to all. It was the place he had blossomed into who he was today. I could see the heartbreak showing on his face. He had just returned with everyone else to Malaysia before the new year. It pained him to know that in the end, they would all board the plane back to Sheffield, but he would have to stay. His father made sure of that by keeping his passport for him! (I guess the father knew his son too well). Given the chance, he would have wanted to stay indefinitely. He admitted to me, in his most selfish thoughts, I wished that all of them would quickly return back to Malaysia soon. Again, it wasn't so much the place... it was the people. But life goes on, and even if he stayed back, others would leave. His time there was up, and it was time for a new chapter in his life. But no one likes change. Especially when it is from something you truly love and enjoyed.

The other, was a woman.. Spent her childhood in Malaysia, attended school in New Zealand, and now works in Sheffield.. for about 2 years now. She had come back a whole 1 week earlier than the rest, to spend time with her family. I guess you could say this sister was more of a free spirit. As much as she loved Sheffield, she shared that she somehow felt it was time for a change. Not that she had a definite plan of what she wanted, only that it was not this. On one hand, her heart longed to go back to New Zealand, which was like home to her, where all her best friends were (again with the people)... where life was good. Then there was also Malaysia, where her family was. She absolutely adored her niece and newphews, and kept on repeating how much she missed them, even before she left. When I picked her up from the airport, she asked me point blank "Is Malaysia a good place to live in?"... I was taken aback..... "Well... its not a BAD place to live in" I said... How typical of me not to answer the question... Her parents had made yet another plea to her to move back to Malaysia, closer to home.. closer to mom and dad... and though it was not the first time she heard it, this time, it felt different...This time, she was actually considering it... maybe because in her heart.. maybe.. just maybe.... this might be what she wanted too.But the fear of the unknown was there.. hence the question. Just follow your heart I said.. Malaysia is great.... and so is the UK.. but you wont be happy unless you know what you are looking for.

So there I was, sitting the entire day chatting with these 2 people.... both at crossroads.... We were all going to the airport. One was leaving but wishing she could stay... the other was staying.. but wishing he could leave. As we stood in the lift, I couldn't help but point out th irony of it all as I stood in betwen the 2 of them. I pointed to the one leaving and said "you wished you could stay"... and pointing to the one staying "and you wished you could go"...... They managed a half smile.. the irony was not lost to them too..... Oh well.. I guess life has to go on....