Forthnights

Chapter Closed

It’s with mix feelings that I tell you this. I’m closing the curtain on this blog.

It’s been 5 years since I posted my first blog here. Let me just say that when I wrote my first post, I had no idea that I would have continued doing it for the next 5 years. I started this blog because I felt that I needed an outlet to express myself; my thoughts, my opinions, but mostly, my feelings. I knew that I had a love affair with words; I enjoy expressing myself through writing more than anything else, and that was really something I didn’t know how to share with the people around me since I couldn’t freely say the things I wanted about everything and everyone around me if I was expecting them to read it at the same time. Thus, the idea of writing a blog, anonymously came so naturally to me. The idea forthnights came because I THOUGHT I would write every 2 week once… but that turned out to be misleading (sometimes months on with no post and sometimes 3 post in a week)… and the address greatcowsense came because …well… my dad said I had a lot of ‘cowsense’… whatever THAT meant. Haha…

I have always been one to shy away from attention. Unlike some go to great lengths to promote their blog, I have never felt 100% comfortable with the idea of people reading the things I was about to write, mainly because many of the things I knew I would be writing about were immensely personal. I never back linked my blog to other blogs (even though there are some I follow faithfully) because to me, this was my personal space. If someone read it, liked it and identified with it, you flatter me. I would feel honoured that my writings actually deserved a bookmark! Why any stranger would find my life worth knowing about remains to be answered. But this was never to gain more page loads or popularity. This was not a community / social blog; this was my personal chronicle of my life and my emotions.

As I read back on my own thoughts, my memories are refreshed and evoked; of times when things were so rough I never thought I would ever get through it, of memories so sweat and dear I could almost feel the emotions again just by reading my own lines. To that extent, this blog has served its purpose. I have half a decade worth of thoughts and emotions nicely written down like a diary. You will know that so many of my postings were about my family, my loved ones, my childhood memories and my mother; these are a self generated proof to me of where my heart lies.

When I first started, I was a 19 year old college boy trying to pick up the pieces of a home shattered into a million pieces caused by infidelity, depression, mental illness and mistakes of the previous generation. I was totally reliance on others financially, I had no direction in life except to get through day by day, and the biggest worry I had was just my education. Today, I’m on the verge of my 24th birthday (next week 29th); I am now a working adult, a step away from starting a family of my own; no longer the victim and sufferer of my family’s past, but care giver and protector of what’s left of that family and the new one I hope to build. I am today financially independent, I support my parents and care for my mother, and the biggest worry I have is how to afford getting married! It’s amazing what a short 5 years can change. What happens this next 5 years I leave in the hands of God Almighty.

I like to think of this as a new chapter I am living now; and just like how one chapter is built based on the previous, so it is that everything in my life now has been build on the previous, so on and so forth. All good things come to an end. This blog began with the start of the previous chapter in my life and it’s only fitting that it also ends with the completion of that chapter. Still, some things remain the same. I have come to love blogging more than ever because it gives me the space to express. I will not stop writing and sharing my feelings online albeit still anonymously.

To all, everyone and anyone out there who reads this, thank you for your readership and comments all this time… I’m glad to have shared something with you and hope you have gained something out of it for your own life, even if it’s just something small. I ask only one thing in return; drop me a hello, tell me who you are and where you are from, how you came across my writings, and why you read them! (because really, I don’t know why you do!) You can post a comment, or drop me an email

I will of course post a link to my new blog when I have set it up, for those still interested to follow me on this interesting journey that life has put me on. It will still be the same me, but it will also reflect on the person that I have become today; more grown up, less innocent and naïve, but so help me God, just as honest about my feelings.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 11:54 pm Comments: 2