Green with Envy
A piece of good news.. I passed all my papers!
That means its all systems go for me to fly to the UK this coming June, provided RM 30k drops on my lap in time. I have done my calculations, even at 30k, its just enough to get me through living over there for 3 months. With an exchange rate of RM6.90 to 1 pound,its going to be a real test of 'how-stingy-can-you-get'.
At September, I'll be flying home,and in October, I'll be starting work in my current company, and almost immediately, start my repayments to my boss for the loan he has given.
It many sense, I should feel grateful. After all, its an interest free loan from him. The problem is, I have to repay it in 3 years. On top of that, I have 2 other loans to pay. My government education loan, RM10k, and the personal loan from MGAIUK (my-girlfriends-aunt-in-UK) Suddenly, being an adult earning your own money doesnt seem that great after all.
Truth be told, I am envious. Jealous really. Jealous of all those around me who seem to have a better deal in life than me. They don't have an ill mother, they dont have a broke father, they dont have to fend for themselves early on. Even till now, they just reach out their hand, and money comes their way. Question on who's paying for their study in the UK doesn't even come up. During Chinese New year, I found out that one of my cousins, at age 25 was buying a brand new Toyota Vios worth 70k. He had argued with his father about it, insisting that they help him with the down payment of his new car. In the end, the family gave him RM30k and the remainder, he took a bank loan. Its unbecoming of a 25 year old man to ask money from his dad, but the soft hearted double standard hypocrite dad gave in. The same uncle who would even stand guarantor for me. On the contrary, my dad called me last week, basically telling me that he will not be giving me any money this month because he has run dry on funds. He said since I am working, I should be able to cover my own expenses. I argued that I only worked for 2 weeks the previous month, so even a little cash on his side would be much appreciated. Its almost the middle of the month, but there's no sign of any cash till now. I even had to pay for his stupid road summons
I guess its nothing new here; money is the root of my jealousy. I know it cant buy happiness. I know it cant buy health, dignity or respect. But despite what I know, deep in my heart, I wished that I was someone else's son. It doesnt even have to be a rich family, just a normal, stable, providing family. I looked at my cousin with such sickness and disdain. Here he was arguing with his father about giving him more money, boasting about his two hundred dollar cloths, his 2 PDA phones and eating dinner with a bluetooth headset on his ear (which really showed what a materialistic jerk he is). Hey, unless you are waiting for a million dollar business call, you don't need that piece on during dinner. My generation is truly is the entitlement generation.
I know we aren't exactly poor. We are just extremely cashless.
For once i wished it was my vain, materialistic and selfish cousins, and not me who was eating humble pie. Its tiresome. It feels unfair, it feels like more than my share of lemons.
That means its all systems go for me to fly to the UK this coming June, provided RM 30k drops on my lap in time. I have done my calculations, even at 30k, its just enough to get me through living over there for 3 months. With an exchange rate of RM6.90 to 1 pound,its going to be a real test of 'how-stingy-can-you-get'.
At September, I'll be flying home,and in October, I'll be starting work in my current company, and almost immediately, start my repayments to my boss for the loan he has given.
It many sense, I should feel grateful. After all, its an interest free loan from him. The problem is, I have to repay it in 3 years. On top of that, I have 2 other loans to pay. My government education loan, RM10k, and the personal loan from MGAIUK (my-girlfriends-aunt-in-UK) Suddenly, being an adult earning your own money doesnt seem that great after all.
Truth be told, I am envious. Jealous really. Jealous of all those around me who seem to have a better deal in life than me. They don't have an ill mother, they dont have a broke father, they dont have to fend for themselves early on. Even till now, they just reach out their hand, and money comes their way. Question on who's paying for their study in the UK doesn't even come up. During Chinese New year, I found out that one of my cousins, at age 25 was buying a brand new Toyota Vios worth 70k. He had argued with his father about it, insisting that they help him with the down payment of his new car. In the end, the family gave him RM30k and the remainder, he took a bank loan. Its unbecoming of a 25 year old man to ask money from his dad, but the soft hearted double standard hypocrite dad gave in. The same uncle who would even stand guarantor for me. On the contrary, my dad called me last week, basically telling me that he will not be giving me any money this month because he has run dry on funds. He said since I am working, I should be able to cover my own expenses. I argued that I only worked for 2 weeks the previous month, so even a little cash on his side would be much appreciated. Its almost the middle of the month, but there's no sign of any cash till now. I even had to pay for his stupid road summons
I guess its nothing new here; money is the root of my jealousy. I know it cant buy happiness. I know it cant buy health, dignity or respect. But despite what I know, deep in my heart, I wished that I was someone else's son. It doesnt even have to be a rich family, just a normal, stable, providing family. I looked at my cousin with such sickness and disdain. Here he was arguing with his father about giving him more money, boasting about his two hundred dollar cloths, his 2 PDA phones and eating dinner with a bluetooth headset on his ear (which really showed what a materialistic jerk he is). Hey, unless you are waiting for a million dollar business call, you don't need that piece on during dinner. My generation is truly is the entitlement generation.
I know we aren't exactly poor. We are just extremely cashless.
For once i wished it was my vain, materialistic and selfish cousins, and not me who was eating humble pie. Its tiresome. It feels unfair, it feels like more than my share of lemons.
posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 1:15 pm
Comments: 0
