The one with the Homeless man...
I was just walking toward the bus stop, about the hand over some keys to my brother when I saw it. At first, I thought it was just another homeless man sleeping at the bus stop. Sadly, when you live in the city long enough, you actually get accustomed to seeing homeless people on the street. It was just a casual glance, and I was ready to quickly go back inside to finish off the dinner that I had eaten only halfway. But something caught my eye. There was something wrong. His entire body was shuddering. Sprawled over the floor, his hands were rigidly held up high, there was blood flowing down his head and from his mouth, eyes rolled up.
My attention moved away from the dinner waiting from me, and away from my brother who was just about to greet me as we met. I cautiously walked nearer to the man, in a hesitant circling manner. What’s going on? My first thought was that this man had been assaulted, but as I came closer, it became apparent that he was going through an epileptic seizure a.k.a. fits a.k.a., sawan or less appropriately, giler babi. I called out “Uncle, uncle, can you hear me!?” but he gave no acknowledgement of my presence. As I came closer, I saw that there was a little blood flowing down his swelling forehead.. he probably hit it when he went into the fits. There was blood flowing from his mouth and lips and I suspected that he had bit his tongue in the process. I shouted to my brother to call an ambulance, and after a moments hesitance, he pulled out his telephone and made the call.
I wasn’t sure what to do. From the looks of it, he was a homeless man. His shirt was worn inside out, wore no shoes and looked dirty from top to toe. His nails were black and dirty and he looked like he had been wearing the same cloths for months. Lets not even talk about his teeth. To be honest, it was a bit revolting, but at the same time, this was a man obviously in need. My brother stayed at bay. I walked forwards, leaned down and touched his shoulder, calling him once again, hoping he would stop the fitting. He gave no response, and not knowing how to aide a person in seizure, I just stood close by hoping the ambulance would arrive soon. After a while, his seizure stopped, his hands and body was released and he his entire body just softened. I briefly felt a surge of panic thinking he might have stopped breathing; would I have to start doing CPR now? Would this be the first time I witness someone die? As much as I wanted to save a life, the thought of putting my mouth to this homeless man’s mouth didn’t seem a very inviting idea. Plus, I didn’t even know how to do CPR properly, only in theory. But thank God, though his body softened, his chest continued to rise and fall steadily. I kept a close watch on his chest, practically willing it not to stop.
After 20 minutes, there was still no ambulance at site, and the sight of a bleeding body at a bus stop started to attract more and more attention. If this man had anything more than a seizure, he would have been dead by now putting his fate in our local ambulance. People started coming over to take a look at what they may have thought (and I strongly suspect) was a dead body. I continued calling “Uncle.. uncle!” to this man, and after a while, he was conscious again, though he mumbled incoherently and showed no indication of knowing where or who he was. Someone eventually went to the nearby police station, and came back with an ambulance with him. The ambulance that my brother called for 30 minutes ago was still no where in sight, perhaps having teh tarik somewhere before making their journey here. The 2 paramedics wore their rubber gloves and tried pulling the man to his feat, with no success. They searched his pockets and found a wallet, which was totally empty. I mentally noted that this homeless man had totally no cash, no card, no identification, nothing… and yet here he was carrying a wallet. Why? Something to ponder on perhaps?
With the ambulance at hand, there was soon a mini crowd gathered around the place, wanting to take a look at the action, but thankfully, the paramedics loaded the man into the ambulance (rather unceremoniously) and were off before a larger crowd could assemble.
So that was it, and I walked back inside feeling slightly better. I wasn’t sure which part I was more relieved about; the fact that this man was now getting proper medical care or the fact that I didn’t have to do mouth to mouth to him.
“Gosh, how can you be so selfish? If he did stop breathing, giving mouth to mouth would have been the right thing to do, and it would be expected out of you…”
“But I don’t know how to do CPR! And… and… he’s dirty…and his lips were swollen… and there was blood coming out of his mouth! What if I got infected with something?...”
“Yeah right. If it was some pretty girl lying there, I bet you’d be only too eager to give mouth to mouth!”
And the internal battle within me rage on for the rest of the night.
Times of emergency and need always bring out the best and worst in people. If this man did indeed stop breathing, I honestly do not know what I would have done. Would I have rise up to the occasion and do the heroics? Or would I cower and shy away? If I did the former, I would be able to hold my face up high with dignity, knowing I did all I could. If I did the latter, I would have been ashamed and only too eager to forget the episode, knowing that I failed miserably when the timed called for courage to do what was required of you. I will never know because it never came down to that, and I was glad it didn’t. I’m not sure if I will ever be ready for such a test.
My first car...
You know, for as long as I can remember, I always imagined buying my first car would be a wonderful and exciting experience.
I imagined the feeling of setting eyes on my very first 'baby'... the excitement of finally owning four wheels of my own to go where I want, when I want... to basically have the pleasure to say... "this is MY car!" I mean.. I dont know about other people, but when you were a teenager growing up, driving/owning a car was just about the coolest thing you could probably do. I did drive a car often back then, but I didnt own any of it.
Fast forward to today, 18th October 2007, being 22 and on my first
real job, I found standing in front of what is now destined to be my first car...
It should have been great.. it should have been some sort of momentous occasion in my life... where mom and dad and what have you all supportively sharing in your excitement in this sort of 'coming-of-age-with-great-power-comes-great-financial-burden...." sort of thingy. But it was nothing like that. I went alone, on the way to work. I made the decision alone... based not on which colour I liked most, but on which car would cost me least and give me most.. never mind if the car is shocking pink or longkang water brown.
I choose what I think (and pray to God) was a good car,paid the booking deposit, arranged an interview with the financing bank and left.. but the feeling was not what I imagined it to be. Sure the engine purred beautifully, there was auto cruise control.. and the seats were full leather... ButI wasnt all excited about finally getting my hands on it, where I would drive to, or who I would tell first, or who my first official passenger would be.. Instead.. I was thinking about how on earth I was going to live on the rest of the month after using what I had to pay the booking deposit, how I was going to come up with RM2000 in a week, and how much I would have to pay every month for the next 7 years... Or what I would do if I ever meet an accident or if the car broke down, how would I pay for it all?
The journey to work was an upsetting one.. I thought I would be happy buying my first car.. but the frown I saw in the mirror told me otherwise. If felt more like I had just lost something than to gained. I guess thats what you get when reality bites. Everything is about the dollars and cents... everything is about cheques and cash.
So ya, some time next week, I will officially be a car owner.. horay. But after spending all the money on it, I would have to push the car.. since there would be no more cash left for petrol.
By the way... the colour is 'champagne gold'.. or so the car dealer told me.
In & Out the rat Race
Just last week, my brother took the rather bold (or foolish) step of quitting his job.
It didn’t really come as a surprise to me, since he had been talking about it for quite some time now. Only, I never really expected him to actually act on it. He has not been happy in his job for almost a year now, and constantly talks/dreams about doing business. The company he works for went through some sort of board room tussle recently, and despite offers from his boss to come join him in another company, my brother saw it as his chance to do something different and bail out of the corporate rat race. (Ironic, seeing how at the exact same time, I just joined it)
To be honest, he is not quite sure what he wants to do exactly. As an immediate substitute, he as taken up the position of ‘casual worker’ in his church; which pays minimal salary to say the least. As a result, he is now staying in his pastors house (near to the church) and we are most likely to move out by years end. This being because the only reason we stayed there was because it was close to his former office. Officially earning peanuts now, he cant afford to pay the rent at our existing place any longer. But in the longer term, he (says) he plans to take up a Masters in Counseling next year, and hopefully by then he would be actively involve in some business start up he and his friends have been planning, selling coffee or something like that.
For now, he job consist of leading prayer meetings, meeting up with college students, having church fellowship and occasionally bringing these youngsters out for a movie and yam cha… a dream job really if you ask me… Come on..,.. your job is to bring people to the movies, chit chat, talk about God and have a good time… Can you think of a more relaxed and laid back job? Great if you don’t mind being paid peanuts. (It helps if you like peanuts).. But then again, not everything in life is about money right?
He has been getting a lot of heat from my father, who is convinced that my brother has lost his mind, and is making the mistake of his life. Their relationship in recent weeks has taken an icy turn in response to these events, and I find myself stuck in the middle, playing mediator between father and brother. One things the other is being young, naïve and idealistic, the other thinks one is being old, narrow minded, and materialistic. I think the whole situation is just plain idiotic. Let the old man have his say. He is the father after all, and at the very least, is entitled to his opinion. Let the young man be I say. Its his life, and his mistake to make. If he stumbles, let him get up with his own strength and he will emerge stronger. And who knows, it might actually lead to something.
In the mean time, I am suddenly labeled the big earner of the family, having just secured a steady job (happy to report the finalization of my employment contract!) and earning what would seem like a generous salary for a fresh graduate. How fast they forget that I am laden with debts to pay… hutang keliling pinggan. I have to pay my boss, my girlfriends aunt.. my PTPTN loan… What more, I have to get a car of my own asap… since the job requires it. Only problem is, I don’t even have money to pay the freaking deposit… I don’t even have 3 months pay slip, and there is only so much I can pay each month for installments! Man, being an adult can really suck sometimes… If only I stayed back in the UK to wash dishes for a year….
Angkasawan Blast Off!
Our first
ANngkasawan!Now, I don't know if you are aware of this, but as I write this Malaysia would official have its first man up in space.
According to the
offical website,
"The Angkasawan Programme is a giant step for Malaysia in developing its scientific and technological capabilities and in buiding its international image.".
When they say giant steps, I think they were talking in terms of the ant world, because honestly, I don't see just what kind of a step forward we have made. What kind of progress have me made just by spending millions of ringgit to send 1 single guy up to space for a few days? Is our economy better? Are our people more united? Does it suddenly make us proud of being Malaysians? No, no and no..... The millions spent on training this guy, and not to mention the sheer amount of publicity this has generated is staggering. The media is all over it, and ASTRO even dedicated a special channel to keep the nation updated on our progress into space.
No doubt, its truly history in the making. But what kind of history are we making? The Japanese, Russian and Americans made their own way up to space, with their own technology and effort. They didnt buy a ticket for the next rocket to space. And that is precisely what we did. And what about it supposedly being the first GIANT step in scientific and technological advances? All the other crew members are highly trained astronaut's with duties to perform on board. What will our guy do? Well, nothing, except eat rendang ayam, kuih bangkit and other assorted kuih-kuih, at least that was what The Star Newspaper reported anyway. (thats it Malaysians, always thinking of your stomach). If you strip it all down to the bear essentials.. our first astronaut is nothing more than a 'space participant' a.k.a tourist. What kind of experiments of science will he be conducting? Well... there was talk about how to make teh tarik in space.. (thank God they didnt go through with that), but the last I hear, he's gona try to determine which direction to pray to from space... hoorah...... For a premier newspaper such as The Star to start reporting what our dear Angkasawan will be eating just goes to show just what kind of significance this is really. We aren't trying to break some barrier in science and technology...there is no real scientific thing going on here... we just trying to fly up to space, share some rendang and kuih.. and tell everyone we have taken a big step forward into ... whatever it is we are trying to do la (which is nothing really)....
Let me just say this... half the nation is laughing at it, making jokes and thinking its a complete waste of money. Scientific experiments are done in labs.. not in space. We arent at that level yet where we can send people up to space and say we are as advanced as other nations... We still have people living in zinc houses and on the streets..... and we don't even really know how to make our own cars without a big brother partner guiding us yet....We are a young nation with so much more to learn and do. National pride is not a marketing game.. Other people feel proud of their country not because its famous.. or that everyone knows it... but because it truly is a great country...maybe because of its heritage.. or its technology.. or its people... or its importance to the world. Which one are we? None... and that is where the other half of the nation comes in... the rest of us Malaysians... just syok sendiri saja la.... No one is raising an eyebrow... Any other nation can pay their way and send one of their people to space as tourist.. just none of them are dumb enough... until now. We are doing it because some genius in Parliament decided this would be a fun thing to do over Hari Raya.
Sorry to pour ice water over your celebrations Malaysia... other than having temporary bragging rights over Singapore... there really is nothing significant about this achievement.... we didnt built the rocket.. we dont own the technology.. we dont have the knowledge... and we have no stake in the International Space Station... Its all just a marketing ploy to put Malaysia on the map.... but others will look and laugh! So much for building an international image... Hello Putrajaya, we are getting all the wrong sorts of attention...
Ya.. ya.. ya.. you say its history in the making... the First Malaysian into Space... but so was making the longest yao zha guai on earth... and roundest roti canai....and most people eating nasi lemak at a time... and now we have the honour of being the first man to eat rendang ayam in space... the fella will come back with a Datuk title no doubt for this momentous achievement...... someone tell me we are not just syok sendiri here... In the mean time, let me cover my face and hide
Malaysia Boleh!
Listen up!
If you talk about good communication skills, most of us would associate it with good speaking skills; the ability to be witty, to be charming, to always say the right things at the right time. That’s what being a good communicator is about; being able to get your point through with great eloquence and ease, just like how a good speaker would.
But being a good speaker is not the same with being a good communicator. Being able to speak well does not mean you are good at communication. In fact, I notice that sometimes, the more eloquent the speaker, the worse he is at communicating. Confused? People who talk all the time, never learn how to listen. That’s why. All they are good at is putting their point through, of convincing others of their point, with little thought of what the others think or feel. How many times have you come across someone, only too eager to interrupt in the middle of your sentence, because they just thought of something interesting to add, that can’t wait till you finish. Or right after you say something, they immediately jump in with something else to say. The truth is, while you are busy talking away, they are busy thinking of their reply to you. The focus is not what is being said by you, but on what they are about to say next. How many times have you done that?
The world is filled with people who pride themselves in being good speakers... and many who would like to claim to be great listeners. But most of them are busier talking about how great they are at listening rather than actually doing any of it. Good listeners are a rare breed in this world, and sadly, often under-rated and go by in life un-noticed. It’s always the ones who speak up who get all the attentions, always the one in the limelight. You would often hear praise being lavished on someone who has just spoken given an impressive speech in front of a crowd. But it’s the listeners who are the ones we inevitably prove themselves invaluable. In our times of sadness and need, happiness and joy what do we do? We go to someone we trust will listen and understand. Someone who would empathise with whatever you are feeling at the moment. Not someone who constantly tries to talk you down or talks back to you about how they are all the time. What about the companion that sits silently, giving you their full attention, not busy interrupting, not busy giving their own input, but purely focusing their questions and replies on what you have to say, and nothing more. How many times have you given them their long overdue praise? How many times have you actually encountered such persons? Not many I would imagine.
If you think about it, listening should really be a piece of cake. After all, all you have to do is just sit there and do nothing right? Wrong. Hearing someone talk is peanuts… listening is tough, you hear me?
You want to know how to be a listener? Try this.
Listen to what the person is saying. Understand what he is trying to say. More importantly, try to see the emotions underlying those words… If something comes to you mind that you want to say… hold that thought, it can wait. What matters at the moment is not what’s on your mind, but what is on his/her mind. Don’t think of the answer in your mind. Concentrate on digesting what has just been said. Ponder on it, and give your reply or question. Your reply should not always be about you and you and you… Your chance to share will come… people are often more than willing to listen to you if they feel that you have given them their fair share of attention, and that is what your focus should be on.
It’s not just about disciplining your mouth to stop functioning and your ears to start. It’s disciplining your mind… to consciously and deliberately put greater importance on what someone else has to say rather than your own. Don’t kid yourself. Listening is tough.
If you can do that, people will walk away remembering just how great a conversationalist you are, though it was primarily them doing the talking and you the listening. They wouldn’t realise why, but you will. So you not only gain new respect and favour from people, you gain genuine insight into them, because you were listening! Just make sure you don’t go around boasting how great you are at it OK.
So if you ever manage to master these listening skills and are now a brilliant communicator and conversationalist look me up and teach me, because I have been trying for so long and still find it soOo hard.
What’s that you said again? Sorry, I wasn’t listening. ;-)
Whats happening of late...
Hello Rat Race!
Can you believe it.. barely 3 days after coming back to Malaysia, I found myself stuck in office again, doing work.
It wasn’t supposed to be like that. I was just supposed to go to the office, tell the boss I was back, claim the car promised to me, enjoy the rest of the week and start work on a Monday! But as I hanged around, the work started coming to me, kind of like flies attracted to rubbish, but in a less disgusting way. I had arrived just before lunch, and planned to leave just before 3. I ended up staying to 3, and had to come back the next day. What more, I did not get the car I was promised. In some evil turn of event, the car due to me was stolen just a month ago, and there was no longer any spare car waiting for me. Not only do I not have a car of my own, I don’t even know how much I’m going to be earning for goodness sake! I even had to ask him to write me an appointment letter. It seem such trivial things slipped my bosses mind.
So even though I was officially starting work on the first day of October, my boss was already expecting me to work at full steam the minute I stepped into office to say hi. The next thing I knew, I am told that on the Tuesday (2nd day of work), I was supposed to fly to Sarawak with my boss for 4 days to do some sort of site visit. I am not that excited about flying across the country just yet, seeing how I haven’t even got my appointment letter, and I have yet to sort out my transportation!! What am I supposed to do, walk to work?
Sigh~ So much for the great start to my corporate career.
Runaway mom, it’s the story of my life
Back home, mom took of again, this time for good (at least according to her). She had returned home to KL just days before my return just to see me. And as expected, she left on Friday. But this time, she said it was for good, and that she intends to find a place to settle down up north. She was sick of the life here in KL, and she wanted to be where she had her freedom. I didn’t know what to say to her, and I knew for certain that when I came back from work, she would be gone again. I gave her a hug, and I told her I love her. I said I would never understand why she would choose to do these things, but that she would always have a place with my brother and I. I hope it got through to her somehow. The next day, I was queuing up at the supermarket, getting some things. There was this elderly man, trying to sell toothbrushes to the customers for whatever money they would pay. He was asking us to please help him and pity him. He said he was mentally ill. Somewhere 300km away, my mother was up north, also mentally ill, also asking people to pity her. I was heart broken. For 3 months, I had a temporary brake from these sort of problems... My mom ran away up north again... I tell you... its the story of my life..
Sigh~ So much for the smooth sailing in my family problems!
Coffee beans & Goat farms...
I also return home to a father, convince that goat rearing is the way of the future. He even decided to take up courses on it.. Goat Farming for Dummys: Don’t Kid yourself (haha.. kid yourself.. as in goat? OK..lame....)or something like that.. hehe.. Anyway, the point is, he wants to get into the business of rearing goats since he is reaching retirement age soon. My brother and I went all the way down south to Johor to visit him in the cowboy town of Kluang to see just what exactly got into his head.. I think it was the smell of goat dung.. But who knows, it might just turn into something viable... and I will get to eat all the mutton curry I want. Dear brother on the other hand, is thinking, or planning on doing some sort of Masters programme in counselling or taking some sort of full time job in the church, or like I said earlier.. sell siew pao... but as of this moments.. its coffee beans.. Not just any beans.. its beans from Sabah. But as of now.. its just another business idea brewing in his head (haha, another pun!.. what’s wrong with me today?) Mutton curry I can take, but I’m not a big fan of coffee... I get hyper drinking it.
Sigh~ So much for that million dollar business venture!
Consolations in Bolehland... not quite
Ever heard of comfort food? Well, if you are feeling down and seek food for comfort.. Malaysia is just about the best place in the world to be. And what better place to feel Malaysian.. and find good food than Pasar Malam right? Char Koay Teow, Tau Fu Far, Popia, taiwanese sausage, cendol... they all have a way of making you feel better.. at least while you are busy chewing away that is.... You never know how much you miss Malaysia, until you eat the food!
Of course, more importantly, I returned home to my family. Seeing my, my brother, father, my girlfriend and especially my mother safe and sound was of great relief to me, though my mother going off again has made life unsettling again.
How do I feel right now? To be honest.. I have no idea. Am I happy to be back? Yes. Do I still wish I was back in Sheffield? Yes. Are you happy? In a way. Are you sad? Also, in a way. So you see, I am really just one big confused mess.
It feels like I don’t even have time to catch my breath. I remember back in February. 2 days after finishing my exams on a Thursday, I was sitting in front of my future boss, asking for a sponsorship to study in the UK. 3 days later on a Monday, I was working for him. 3 months later, after barely a week after my last day of working I was flying to the UK. I then proceed to have the time of my life for the next 4 months and returned home on a Monday. 2 days later, I am stuck in office again, working. Next thing I know, I have to catch another plane (man am I getting sick of them) to Bintulu. No time to enjoy a break. No time to catch my breath. No time to slowly move on. Heck, I saw my boss even before I saw my own father. I start work even before I have a car!.. and I dont even know my freaking salary!! Isn’t that complete lunacy? Don’t even ask how come, I dare not attempt an explanation.
Sigh~ Just pray for me okie... for a calm and settled heart with a clear and focused mind.
God bless you my friend. Thank you for hearing me whine once again.
