Forthnights

Shhh....

I have always been shy about my birthdays.

Some make it a point to inform others and their friends that their birthday is looming near. The hope and expect to be wished happy birthday, possibly a small dinner and some presents. But not me.

I always find it hard to go up and tell people, hey its my birthday coming up. It implies that I expect them to do something special for them. And as the day comes closer, the 29th, the more compelled I feel steer clear of the subject. Not that I dont want to celebrate it, I'm just too shy to announce it, as if it were some big important event to everyone. It is an important; but only to myself and others who themselves deem it important. If some remember, and wish me well, hey, thats great. The thought of needing to announce your birthday to people seems a little tragic and sad, because its as if, on their own, they would not deem it important enough to remember.

And since I enjoy keeping such a low profile as birthdays go, I silently watch who remembers and who forgets, who calls and who doesn't. But I think it unfair to hold out against friends who fail to call, because we ourselves do not call them on their birthday! I think the underlying reason why people want to be celebrated on their birthday is that at some level, we all want to feel needed and appreciated in the life of others. We all want to know that we have made a difference in other, and that our existence has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. Its because of this, announcing and expecting others to celebrate your birthday seems to beat the point. what is the point of a nice dinner in your honour if it was you who invited everyone there in the first place? Where is the sincerity in attendance if it was not initiated on their own.

My 22nd birhthday would be the first I am spending completely away from my family and loved ones. I think its going to be a lonely affair, since usually, its my girlfriend who makes the biggest deal out of it, wanting to invite everyone over for a dinner. Though on the exterior I tell her to keep it low, and stop treating it like some celebrity birthday, in my heart, I appreciate the gesture. She finds it important, and would expect others around me to find it important. And to me, that is the single greatest thing that gives me satisfaction on my birthday.

Another thing to note is the birthday of others. There are other friends around me whos birthday is within days of my own. Maybe they deliberately avoid talking about my own birthday in front of me, or they truly do not realise it, but some people seem to have their birth dates remembered better than others. Not that I hold any envy or resentment though. It looks to me like a case where the squeaky wheel gets the oil. The more unabashed you are about announcing your small little existence, the more people will remember to celebrate it, not because they truly want to, but because it is only polite to do so. Its social to pressure; when you know someone around you has a birthday coming up, it is only polite to give that person a gift, even just a token.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 7:58 pm Comments: 1