Forthnights

The beginning of the end....

Doesn’t time just fly by when you are having a good time?

I confess; I don’t want to leave….. at least not yet. Partly because of the place; it’s so wonderful here. Experiencing Sheffield and the wondrous greenery and hills surrounding it has been one of the most fulfilling things I have done all my life. Having grown up in the city, being surrounded by nature has a way of breathing new life into you. I loved walking on the public footpaths, among the sheep, breathing the clean cool air and feasting my eyes on the natural wonders that God created among the hills. I love the English country side. It is without a doubt one of the most beautiful things I have seen in my life up to this point. I could only stand in awe when I had my first glance of the beautiful valleys coming from Manchester exactly 3 months ago. It felt has if I had just discovered something I sorely missed after years and years of self imposed exiled in concrete jungles. Though I said it was a charming sight, I was in fact more enchanted than charmed. It stirred my heart, and suddenly the convenience of a modern city; trains, shopping malls, convenience stores, coffee houses, bookstores and the like all at your doorstep paled in comparison to the beauty before me. If you have a hard time believing in the existence of God, just come see; how can anything so beautiful be created by coincidence?

I don’t miss Malaysia one bit. OK, maybe I do….. but it isn’t because of my inability to adapt. There are mainly only 2 things I miss in Malaysia; the food, and the people I love. You take that 2 away, I see nothing significant that would continue to draw me home. The food I can live with, or rather without. Man is a flexible animal, and eating is just really 1 part of living. Despite what most Malaysians believe, we do eat to live, and not the other way round. The people.. yes the people.. family and friends… those are the ones you cant live without. And it is because of them that I will reluctantly go home.


But if you want to know the whole truth, here it is; I don’t want to leave, also because of the people here. In coming here, I have come to befriend many new people. It has been a time of great growth for me, both spiritually and emotionally. I lead a worship session for the first time in my life, I played the guitar for Sunday service for the first time, I even lead in prayer for a group for the first time, even if I didn’t do those well. I never expected to be doing all these, since I am a person far from holy. But happen it did, and I find myself being thrust into this position of leadership among my peers in church and in class.

Truth be told, I never wanted this period of time to end. There are so many things I want to do, so many people I want to get to know way better before I am ready to leave. I will especially miss one new found friend; a friend I got to know of a couple of years earlier, but we never got the chance to get to know each other better until coming here. Life has a way of surprising you, and suddenly we found ourselves getting along really well; we could talk for hours on end, we were comfortable with each other, but most significantly, we shared as real friends do. I instantly knew I had great fondness for this new friend. But alas, the irony of life always prevails: Like a sprouting bean uprooted just before it had the chance to flourish, the end comes too early, too soon. It is ironic that you can spend years and years trying to establish some sort of connection with someone without any success but be able to immediately strike up a warm friendship with someone else, with little effort. The cruelest twist comes when you realize you time is up before that friendship could fully blossom. At times like that, you don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the sheer irony of it all.

They say life goes on, and like it or not, we all have our own lives to live. Though in my head, this does make sense; my heart is far from accepting. The battle is not of reason. It is a battle of emotions, of trying to come to terms with the end of something, of separation. Friends come and go. Life always moves on to the next stage. We all know that, but it doesn’t make it any easier, and it certainly doesn’t make the pain any lesser. It is with pain that I say this; this will be the last week all of us will be here together, in one place, in one time. Life will move on and though the bonds of friendship may prove to last the test of time, all that will be left of today would be the memories. Friends of the road will move on, coming in and out of your life as they have always done. But friends of the heart… they stay with you for life, even if they are not there beside you.

My friend,

Here we are, almost at the end of our journey together.
It has been a pleasure getting to know you and an honour travelling by your side.
Through thick and thin, through rain or shine,
I am glad you were there by my side through it all.
When I was down in the dirt, you helped me up,
when I was lost and astray, you lead my back on track.
When I needed someone to lean on, I had your back and you had mine.
But though we travelled together, our destinations differed.
And now that I see the road diverge, I am shrouded with sadness.
The split goes right through my heart, knowing we will soon depart.
When will we see each other again? Will our paths ever cross again?
I know not the answer.

It aches me to say goodbye, but I bit you farewell none the less
I dare not hold you back on the journey you first set out on,
though the selfish part of me asks that we continue together.
With heavy feet I will leave your side, looking back every step of the way
I will dearly miss the smiles and the laughs we shared together.
But I am comforted by the warmth of our friendship, burning inside me.
On the coldest of nights we lit a fire of friendship, and took its warmth to our hearts.
The bond of our fellowship keeps that fire going, though we are far apart.
I will long for the day our paths meet again, but until then I wish you well.
May God send you safety on your journey, and that he bless you generously
With an angel to watch over you, in the form of a friend so warm and true.
Just like what He did for me, when he sent me……. you.



We part ways here my friend, but friends of the heart never really leave you.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 8:22 pm Comments: 1