Forthnights

House For Sale; fully equiped with memory of laughter and tears

I guess its safe to say that things have since returned to normal at home.

After about a week plus of my mother behaving well, i can safely say that the medicine has worked. In fact, she is pretty much back to normal, resuming the activities she used to do previously.

This coming Thursday, my father, mother and i will be going up north to sell off the house there. We have already found a buyer and what is left is clearing up the place, taking somethings and signing the agreement. My mother, who initially resisted the idea eventually agreed to selling the house. I think the medicine paid a big part in her change of mind. Afterall, whens he went into her relapse 2 weeks ago, she wanted nothing but to go back to that house. Now, she has agreed to our reasoning.

It will be a long drive, almost 5 hours, which will give me plenty of time reminisce about old times in that house.

It was the house i grew up in for 4 years of my early childhood. Many sweet and bitter memories come back to me everytime i step into that house; times when life seemed perfect, with my then perfect family. It was in that house that i kept my dog Baxter, the place i learnt how to ride a bike and also the place i climbed the most trees in my life. As a child, i loved that place. As a kid, i was free to do anything and go wherever in the safety of that neighbourhood. But as a teen, as i returned every holiday, i hated the place, refusing to step out of the house or socialize with the neighbours. Maybe it was because it only reminded me that the life i once knew was gone, and seeing this same places and faces only made me bitter.

I remember one holiday when i was 10 years old. My mother refused to let my brother and i return to KL. My father had to come down personally to get us. There was a heated arguement between them that became a scuffle. My mother was hitting my father, he responsed by slapping her and pushing her down. He quickly took my brother and i and we walked straight out of the house. But my mother rushed out, went to the porch, stripped naked, crying and sat down on the floor. I looked back and was utterly shocked. I wanted to stop, wanted to ask my father why she was doing it. But i could see the expression on his face and i knew there was nothing anyone could do to make him stop walking away. That image of my mother sitting naked on the floor, crying still lingers in my mind. It crushed my heart. I was lost and helpless in trying to understand why she did it. The extremes of being naked in public, and of the tears flowing down her cheek seem to be screaming out some unsaid message of frustration and desperation.

That was the house it all happened.

Many years later, when i grew up, i did aske her why she did it. She said to me she heard a story of a friend of hers who did the same thing. The couple had a big fight and the husband walked out of the house, and the wife, in her desperation, stripped naked in front of the house, hoping to make her husband turn. He did turn around, quickly covering her up and going back inside the house and eventually, they resolved whatever they were arguing about.

It the dawned on me, maybe my mother wasnt entirely insane afterall.

As i make one final return this Thursday, i will keep all this memories in mind, from the sweet memories of growing up to the bitter realization of lifes hardships. May the selling of that house mark a newer and hopefully happier chapter in my mothers tragic life.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 5:26 pm Comments: 2