Drinks anyone?
Alcohol abuse may not seem like such a relevant topic to some of us, but to those who live to suffer through it, life is no walk in the park.
And when I say those who suffer, I don’t mean the alcohol abusers themselves, but their victims. Forget the high profile cases like Mel Gibson or Robbie Williams, I’m talking about the regular folk like you and I.
I admit that I have no inkling as to how it feels like to be one to go through these things, but hear out this real life story that was related to me by my girlfriend.
In the hospital where she works, there is one ward sister, very cheerful, very good at what she does and is one of the better senior staff around. She is married with 3 kids, the eldest being only 5, still in kindergarten. No one suspected that she had an abusive husband until it was too late. She was rushed one day into the hospital, suffering from wounds on her head, shoulder, neck and right hand severed. Her husband had used a parang (malay for large knife) to hack at her head, slashed her at her neck, and chopped her right arm. He was drunk. According to what I hear, it was the husband himself who brought her to the Accident & Emergency Department of the hospital. The doctors stabilized her condition, did the best they could, but they couldn’t save her arm. Today, she remains in a coma, and the doctors have rated her chances of recovery at only 50%, they are not sure if she would be able to survive her wounds.
I don’t know if I will offend anyone by this, but it is my observation that the Indian community, especially the poorer ones have a problem with alcohol abuse. This story is not uncommon. A few friends too have admitted that their fathers are abusive and drink alcohol more than water. I don’t know all the details of what happened, but it was enough for me to conclude one thing; the man should be jailed and the key thrown into the sea. He has no excuse. To slap your wife is a big deal, to hit your wife is unforgivable, but to hack her with a knife, severing her arm and trying to kill her, calling you a filthy, wretched, coward of an animal, unworthy of even a place in hell, would be an understatement. To say that he was under the influence of alcohol is a weak point. A person is responsible for his actions. Drunk or not drunk, you always pay the piper. I don’t know if this man is still free, but in my opinion, he should be picked up, thrown in jail as soon as possible, before he starts butchering the children instead. If he could do it to his wife, the woman who bared his children, then truly no one is safe.
It all boils down to the bottle. When you drink too much, and the alcohol is running through your brains and blood, you are bound to something stupid. The most harmless of these stupid things is just making a fool out of yourself, confessing your love to your pet plant, vomiting in your friends’ car, or if you’re like me, you’ll start finding everything suddenly very funny and laugh incessantly, insisting that you’re not drunk the whole time. But it is when things go beyond your regular practical joke funny that we must all take things seriously. Some become negligent, and drive when drunk. You have a death wish, that fine, go die as you wish. The problem is when you meet an accident, and someone innocent dies, and you don’t. Others become aggressive and loose all sense of reason start hurting others, and like the case above, someone will always get hurt or die, and that someone would most likely be someone you meet a lot, someone you carry your sorry ass home to when you are drunk, someone like your wife, mother, brother or children.
Can you live with that? Can you live with the blood of your wife on your hands? How would you explain to your children that “Daddy accidentally murdered mommy”? Can you say sorry and make things all better? Will you say that you wish you could trade places with the one who died? I do not feel sorry for this man, no matter how remorseful he may be. That fact is, his wife might die, and even if she doesn’t, she would be crippled for life. He has robbed her of her life. He should have been the provider and protector of the sanctity of their home. But he became the worse enemy of all, the enemy from within. How will she live from now on? Will she even get to live from now on? How about the children? Will they ever be able to overcome this trauma? If they could grasp all that has happened like we are able to, I fear for their future. My heart goes out to them.
A friend I know comes from the same family background. Her father is an alcoholic, and hits the mother regularly, but the mother is too afraid to do anything. Upon hearing about the case, she tried calling her mother non stop. Unable to reach her, she became worried sick that something similar might happen. Unknown to her, her mother just went out shopping. Finally after 2 hours of desperately trying to get in touch with her mother, she manages to get hold of her, and she immediately breaks down and cry, tears of sheer joy and relief rolling down her cheeks. You can see just how real and how significant this fear of alcoholism is.
Happy hour drinking is no laughing matter. We must recognise that there is a very real danger to alcohol abuse. That danger is towards those around the abuser; the wife of the useless and abusive drunk, the man by the street, unaware of the drunk driver and the unknowing passengers. It is their lives that I am worried for. The drunken fellow can jump off a cliff or get hit by a train carrying Carlsberg beer cans for all I care. If they are stupid enough to waste their life away, drinking and cursing, they don’t deserve it anyway. Just don’t bring those who want to live their life peacefully down with you.
All the ladies out there; never marry a man who drinks. It might cost you your life.
posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 2:27 am
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