Have You Seen This Woman?
Sigh........ for a moment there, I truly thought things were beginning to change, and that for the first time, things were finally going to be different... that a change was coming.
But I guess as sure as the sun rises and sets, history has a way of repeating itself. After nearly 2 months of full time care in the hospital, the doctor finally decided that my mother was ready to be discharged. She has responded very well to the test drug that was used for the study, and she after discharge she was meant to go into phase ii of the programme, where she would continue to use the drug for 2 years under close supervision from the doctor. We decided to put her in a nursing home run by a this Christian organisation, who only seemed too willing to help us out. Like I said earlier, I had my doubts as to whether they were really capable or prepared to look after someone like my mother. But we went ahead anyway, because in reality we didn't have that many choices or money to choose from.
The weekend that she was meant to be discharged, I was being sent to Frankfurt, Germany for a week on a work trip. My brother discharged her, and I promised her that I would come visit her before I left on Sunday. She even called to make sure I was coming the day before I was due to arrive. As expected, the home usually tries to get the inhabitants active and involved, which meant taking them out to church services etc.. now mind you..... they are more used to just dealing with regular old folks instead of 'specia folks' like my mother. Come sunday morning, 1 hour before I was supposed to pick her up for lunch..
'Hello.... this is XXX from XXX home..... ei, your marder ar... missing oredi leh... we brought her to church, then she say she wan to go toilet... after that she never come back. We try looking everywhere also cannot find her...."
Shucks ma....... why did you have to go and do this again?
I could almost visualize what happened.... she went to the toilet never intending to run away... but as she went and realised that she was alone and no one was watching.... the impulse came to her.. "Go.." and just like that she went. Despite what others might suspect, I know that my mother never planned or schemed it... she really just did it on an impulse. She saw the opportunity, and she did it without hesitation.
She was formally enrolled in the study drug programme, and she was obliged to faithfully take the medication and follow up with the doctors on its effects. One of its requirements was that she be released into a stable and proper environment that would ensure faithful medication. For 4 weeks in the hospital, with every visit, I saw my mother gradually get better and better... her ragged face was gone.. her blister and wounds healed.. her skin smoother again.... and she no longer looked like a bag of bones. I told myself that I would do everything I can to prevent her from ever sleeping on the streets and wondering around homeless again. I took a picture of her every single day she was with us.. from the day I picked her up from the streets to the last day I saw her in the ward.. happily eating dinner, offering to share with me, laughing and joking.
Just 2 days after being discharged from hospital...she runs away again.. God knows where she is right now.. and I... I have failed spectacularly in carrying out the duty I set myself to complete the day I finally found my mother again....
Sigh...... Ma, please just come home...
posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 6:33 am
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