Rewarding Words
"My main reason of writing this is to thank you.. am really grateful of meeting u as a friend.. uve really made an impact in my life eventhough u might not noe how much u had.. thank you once again....."
How do you react when you someone says something like that to you?
I was completely speechless.... But that was OK, since it was in an e-mail anyway. I tried replying to that e-mail immediately, but found that I didn't quite know what I should reply. Should I go all serious and say thank you? Or go typical Malaysian style and say "No la... where got." Actually, only 8 words from the entire letter stumped me... "uve really made an impact in my life" .... that really got me.
What's all this about you might be wondering? What exactly did I do that has made such an impact in this persons life? Well, I was kind of wondering the same thing too, because I really didn't do anything per se that affected her (yes it's a her)... what I do recall doing was just talking and chatting a lot and encouraging her to be more comfortable in her own skin. She used to mind a lot on what others thought of her.. maybe too much so... and she would often overwrite her own opinions with that of her friends and those around her that she started wondering if there was something wrong with her and the way she thinks. So I did try to encourage her to believe in herself, be confident, but most importantly have conviction in what you belief in.
I did eventually reply that e-mail...... I told her
No.1. "No la.. where go" in true Malaysian spirit. ...
No.2 Her growth as a person this 1 year was due to her own strength, not my so called 'counselling'.
No.3 If I knew she was taking my words so seriously, I would have been more careful with what I said!...
Just to share, that e-mail pretty much made my day... and perhaps the week. It lifted my spirits in a way I couldn't explain. Not that I was trying to take credit and act as if I was some sort of important person... but it just feels good when someone comes up and tells you that you made a difference in their life... that in the course of your life..,you did things that not only benefited you... but also another person. I don't know how many people get to hear someone else say that to them... and if so.. how often do they get it.... But for me, this was the first time in my life a friend has come up to me and said such things.... and I tell you.. I really felt happy inside.. not the gloating 'see how good I am' kind of happy... but a genuine joy that all the things I said and did made a positive impact on her.
Knowing my background and family issues, she often asked me how I managed to stay so positive in the face of such challenging and difficult experiences. She said it amazed her how I have managed to be the person I am given the circumstances. In her experience, people who come from broken homes usually are problematic or dysfunctional in some way. On the contrary, here I was from a problem home, giving her from an intact family, advise on how to live life.
Sometimes, I wonder the same thing.... and ask myself how come I not out partying late nights... experimenting with drugs.. getting my nose pierced and complaining that life is not fair. Till today, I still can't understand just what made me the person I am today. Sometimes I think my bad experiences taught me a lot, and I was forced to grow up very quickly and be mature about things. Other times I think that it was God who guided me and made sure I didn't go wrong. I still haven't made up my mind which it is.
I dared not even share / relate that to anyone around me, because I was afraid that if it came out wrong, it would seem like I was bragging and showing off...... But deep in my heart, I did feel pleased. In that same e-mail, she told me that as thankful as she was to me, she sometimes felt that I gave too much of myself to others, even to the extent of taking too much away from myself. Was I being too selfless.. or downright foolish? I told her I did feel that way sometimes..... But as compensation... I get an e-mail like that from people like her! I get the privilege of being at the receiving end of words like "uve really made an impact in my life eventhough u might not noe how much u had.. thank you once again....."
I don't think there are many things in life that can top just how rewarding it is to hear those words.
posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 12:48 am
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