Arguing with me mom
I just had the strangest arguement with my mother. Since it was a long one, let me just say we argued about the following thingswhether we should deal in absolutes.
She was arguing about how since my girlfriend was not siding her or my father is some matters, she was against her. The "if your not with me your against me" I challenged her saying that things are not that simple, that if your chose to divide the things around you like that, everything will come crumbling down.
If people treat her differently
She is convince that since she is a psychiatric patient, people treat her differently and with less respect. She said that she is very self conscious of herself and how she behaves around people and how people treat her. I told her that she needed check if her feelings truely reflec the reality of things. She may feel that people respect her less, but whether it was true was a different matter
What defines insane
she said the 2 biggest problem she faces is whether she is truely 'psychiatric' and if so, will she ever be able to be rid of it. She said that she finds it hard to accept that she, being a nurse is like that. She also said that she doesnt think she is insane. All the things she did, she did with a reason. I challenged her about some of her action. I brought up about how she once walked around barefooted around the neighbourhood without any shoes. She said she did that in hopes that someone will buy a shoe for her. The time she lay naked on the ground when we found her, she said she did it intentionally to get our attention, but i highly doubt this. I asked her if i was right for a person to run naked on the street if he wanted to save on the laundry, and she said "Why not, he has his reasons. To others he may seem crazy but he knows what he is doing." At this, i didnt know what to say but finally i said that that person may know what he is doing, but he has lost his sense of judgement. She said that people are not insane as long as they know what they are doing.
At the end of it, i was really surprised when she told me that she understands what im trying to tell her, and that she has never spoken like this with my brother or anyone else before. I didnt understand and asked her what she meant. She said that she has never spoken at this deep a level about it before, dealing with all these abtract matters. She said my brother was more simple and superficial in his thinking, though he has a very good heart. I was taken aback by this, because it didnt occur to me before. I cooled down considerable after that and we continued talking more about it. I said to her "The fact that you can have such a heated arguement with me and still keep up shows me that you are ok" Since i started taking care of my mother, i have always been the one telling her what to do, so often that i have forgotten that underneath her illness lies a very sharp and intelligent woman, one i suspect could easily outwit me if not of her illness
posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 2:55 am
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