Forthnights

Barney Bashing

A confession; I occasionally sing the Doraemon tunes to myself when I’m in a good mood (and obviously when I’m alone). Not just the theme song, but all the other familiar tunes you hear when Nobita is either being horribly lazy or being beaten up. (Those in a blur, I apologize if you don’t understand what im saying) I grew up watching that cartoon, with the funny and squeaky Malay dubbed voices as Doraemon and the gang. Till today, hearing those tunes just puts a smile on my face, because it remind me of a time long ago, when the most crucial thing for me was to be at home at the right time to watch my favourite cartoon. Yes, the memories of being a small kid with little worries all manage to be embodied in that simple and childish song. Many of us would cringe in shame when caught humming the tune, but many of us would be lying if we said we didn’t know it.

Of course, there’s that theme song everyone knows and I absolutely hate; Barney’s ‘I love you, you love me.” song. I never liked that stupid purple lizard (as I like to call it =P ) jumping around with his little arms and funny voice. I grew up idolizing dinosaurs such as the T-Rex, Brontosaurus and Triceratops as mean, tough, wild and amazing creatures. To see my favourite dinosaur in purple singing and jumping like a school girl sealed my fate as an anti-barney. It’s a bit dramatic I know. But at the best, I like to think myself as a Sesame Street loyalist. At worst, I’m a Barney hater. Hehehe…. Never mind that half of the kids in the world love Barney, Barney should have his eyes gouged, kicked between the knees and his tail cut off for destroying my (along with countless young boys) image of the once great and revered dinosaur. Yes, the lizard single handedly brought my dinosaur fantasies to an end. Every time I whipped out my dinosaur colouring book in one hand, pencil colours in the other, my eyes land first on my favourite dinosaur the T-Rex. As I go through the pencil trying to select which colour to put on my ferocious companion, I invariably see purple, which then reminds me of the wretched lizard, which then reminds me of that that annoyingly infectious song. And once that happens, I’m stuck with the song in my head for the rest of the day. Sometimes, I would catch myself humming “I love you, you love me……. hey!... wait a second, I hate that song! Stop singing…..” (half an hour later) “I love you….you love me……. we’re a happy........nooooooo! Barney has taken over my brain.”

To make a little comparison between Doraemon and Barney, Doraemon seems more realistic in many ways to Barney. Some may say its ridiculous having a robot cat from the 22nd century with all sorts of strange and amazing (and often destructive) tools coming from his magic pocket as the lead character. But look at Barney, he’s supposed to be extinct! His purple, he sings, spells, gives advices to kids and likes to giggle and hug people when he’s supposed to be eating them (at least Godzilla got that part right).
I know Barney is supposed to be for kids, thus the innocent and squeaky clean programme. But I get a little creepy watching Barney sometimes, mainly because it all seemes a little TOO clean. All the kids are smiley, happy kids who know no wrong; Barney is an all loving and kind (probably vegetarian to that matter). Every episode ends wonderfully with that love song, everyone is so polite and kind, there’s no problem too big to solve. It’s like some big giant satire by the producers and that evil dinosaur to reflect on the society we DON’T live in. But take a look at Doraemon and you’ll see the difference.

Nobita does not live in a perfect world, and Doraemon is not Barney perfect either. For starters, Nobita is always in some sort of trouble. He’s either bitten by a stray dog, beaten up by his regular antagonist Giant and Sinyu, fried by the teacher and his mother for getting zero in his exams or being rejected by Sizuka for the superior Chong Meng (or some other name). But the episodes make no excuses Nobita and we see that he is in fact lazy and pretty much a loser in every way. To his rescue is supposed to be Doraemon, an amazing robot cat send by his future great-grandson to help him. Some of the worst things have happened due to the best of intentions, and this is no different. Every episode sees Doraemon give Nobita some tool from the future to solve his problems, either in love, school, friends or the stray dog. No matter how great the weapon, it always backfires and Nobita bears the brunt of his irresponsible actions; often it becomes the moral of the story. No tool, no matter how amazing can help solve life’s problems. Only you can do that. The part I find amusing and like the most is, occasionally, you see that Nobita and Doraemon aren’t entirely innocent. They are selfish sometimes, and emotionally normal people, with ups and downs. Doraemon is easily bribed with Dorayaki (Japanese sweet cake), steals it from mothers cupboard, and is terrified of rats. Nobita exploits these weaknesses to his own gain, by giving Dorayaki bribes, springing fake rats and worst of all play scissors-rock-paper with Doraemon knowing fully well that Doraemon has no palm, only a ball for a hand. So every time they play, he can only give.. you guessed it… rock! He gets green eyed jealous when Sizuka talks to other guys and tries to hide his exam papers from his mother. Other than that, you can’t help but get the feeling that the dynamic duo are a bit of a voyeur. At every opportunity, they seem to ‘accidentally’ walk into Sizuka in various states of undress. That or they ‘accidentally’ peek on her with all sorts of tools from the future. Despite their best efforts to apologise, they just can’t hide the funny look of enjoyment/guilt on their faces. Giant is a big bully, terrified of his mother and beats up smaller kids. Sinyu is a boaster cock, flaunting his wealth to impress and show off and in an impulsive liar. Even Sizuka plays the violin lousily and likes to daydream all sorts of girly fantasy.

The characters are too numerous to name, but the point is, every character has their good and bad sides, thought when it really matters, most of them eventually do what is right. The characters are shown for what they are, and you sometimes see the changes of heart and internal struggle faced by the characters. Seems quite heavy, but when you read the comics or see the show, it does not seem so. It’s all packaged nicely and at heart, it remains a kid’s show. But watch it as an older person, and you can appreciate the more subtle themes. Not unlike sponge bob square pants, if I might say. Now tell me, can Barney the purple dinosaur top that? Hehehe……

My arguments are incredibly one sided and bias I know; but its just so fun being that way! Its just my round of Barney-Bashing. What better way to de-stress that to give a thorough bashing of something you don t like, just for the sake of it. As they say “Kasi taruh kau kau..” So there’s my 2 cents worth for Barney. To Barney lovers, I make no apologies! But you are welcome to rebut me!

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 11:51 pm Comments: 0