Forthnights

Why am I not surprised? Why am I not kicking in anger and frustration? You know how some people read about the misfortune of others, and those things seemed far away, like it was the kind of stuff that happens to others, but not you? Well, I get the opposite feeling.





Last night, my fathers car was stolen. Last year, my bike was stolen. Instead of being all exasperating in disbelief, I find myself saying "Why am I not surprised? Stuff like this was made for my family man. We are the epitome of Murphy's Law. What can go wrong will go wrong, and it will happen to us!



He left the car parked in a carpark, along with his laptop, 40 minutes later, he returns to find the car missing. The best part of it all is, the car title is in the car. So the crooks not only got the car, but also the deed. Fantastic. Just our luck. Jatuh ditimpa tangga according to Malay proverbs. You fall from the ladder, then the ladder falls on you. Double whammy.



I feel sorry for my father. He has to the take the bus from now on, and it takes and hour and a half. Not that the car was serving well anyway. He had just spend hundreds of ringgit repairing the cursed car, which was constantly overheating and breaking down. What would you expect out of a car as old as me? I hope the car breaks snap and the thief knocks into a truckload of manure, and he gets trampled silly by big fat cows. I hope the cops catch him. Anyway, vengeful feelings aside, its really tragic that his car got stolen, along with everything in it. He was just trying to rebuild his life down south, and here comes all this setbacks. I guess even at 52, life isn't easy.



How come the thief couldn't go and steal someone elses car? Steal a more expensive one dumb ass! Get the Merc, not the beat-up Honda! Isn't that car-jacking 101? Or maybe he was a novice thief going on his first hunt, you know, slowly learning the ropes. In which case, I guess I could be slightly lenient. If we caught him, I guess plucking out his fingernails and clipping high voltage clippers to his nipples and smearing honey over his dick near a bee hive. a couple of years in prison and the safe return of our car would be acceptable. I am an forgiving man, and I don't enjoy seeing others suffer. Unless he stole my car.



So there you have it, precisely the kind of thing that happens all the time in my life. I better go check if my bike is still around.