Forthnights

Guilty as charged?

My instincts tell me that I should not breath a word about my newly acquainted female friend to my girlfriend.

All of my friends who are here with me are convinced that there is something going on between the 2 of us. Its nothing new really, in a course where only 5 of 200 students are male, any attempts to befriend the remaining 5 girls are surely seen to be a sign of interest by the guy. Friends closer to me would see that I have not made a single approach to this girl. I have merely been reciprocating.

And though my intentions are clear, there is little I can do about the general perception people get when they see she and I together. They will and do think there is something going on between the 2 of us, as much as I deny it. It doesn't help that every time we are together, friends just tend to stay away upon seeing us, or that whenever she asks me out, it's just me and no one else. I tried getting my friend to be around when I knew she was coming over, but he refused. saying that he didn't want to be a lamp post; something you don't want to be there, but is there none the less.

I find it hard to explain to anyone else, especially to my girlfriend that there really is nothing going on, in the emotional sense. My friends see that I don't have an interest in her, and that I am... well.. just being horny; which I totally am not by the way. But they do somehow thing that though she has a boyfriend of her own, it doesn't mean she's not interested in shopping around and weighing her options so to speak. I argued that perhaps the reason she befriends me and not other single guys is for that reason itself; other available guys would jump at the chance and want to start a relationship with her, which is not what she is up to. by befriending me, it is unlikely that I would try to start some sort of relationship with her right?

There is also one thing that sorts of throws me off balance. I am not quite sure what it is, but here's an example. Last Saturday, there was a visit to Old Trafford, the home ground of Manchester United (biggest football club in the world). I could not get the tickets on time. She found out, and got it for me through her friend. Furthermore, she bought one for herself, even though she has absolutely no interest in football, and wasn't planning to go in the first place. To quote the text she sent me "If I do go, you would be the reason I am going." Now, I did not invite her to come with me, I was just asking her if she was going.

That is just one of the examples, but that is the general kind of unsaid messages I get. She wanted to go to the bank, and asked if I could accompany her, and so we went, just the 2 of us. So what does this whole thing mean?

So, though my heart is clear, I find it hard to open my mouth and tell my girlfriend about this new friend. Sirens and alarms would go off on her side, she would instantly suspect me (as do my friends) and I will find myself in a difficult position to defend myself. If a case was made against me, I would find it hard to justify going out with her alone, and the constant text messages I get from her, which I invariably reply to. I don't think my girlfriend would be big hearted enough to be able to accept that. Another woman = Threat.

So am I guilty as charged? Have I unwittingly been unfaithful to my relationship, though not in heart, but in action?

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 6:09 pm Comments: 0