Forthnights

Whats for dinner?

Ok, im going to be racist for a moment here. Though normaly, racism is bad thing, im this case, i think everyone can make an exception. Read on and find out.

Firstly, my descrimination is against the Chinese (not the nation). And please remember, I am a Chinese ok. And very specifically, its against their eating habits.

No, its no table manners, its what they eat. The Chinese around the world will eat just about anything with meat! Shark fin soup seems so common, but little do we realise that we kill the shark, take the fin and throw the rest away! Have you heard of wild bears paw? Yes, we only eat the paw. And it seems in China, they harvest bears bile for consumption from living bears. Kind of like 'milking' them through a tube connected to their bile.

Of course theres fresh raw monkeys brain soaked in alchohol. Its so fresh, you eat in directly from the monkeys head. I kid you not.

We eat civet cats, turtles, snakes, tigers,frogs( which are called padi chicken by the way), lizards, bats and most of the animals you see and dont see in the zoo... the rarer, the better. Of course, i have heard rumours of people eating featouses! Yes, thats the reason there was SARS in china. They ate food they werent supposed to, and they didnt even bother to clean it first.

I find all these frenzied eating so alien i venture to ask me fellow chinese friends. Though many of them, like me, do not fancy eating 'exotic' foods, they did impart on me an interesting Chinese saying that explained this madness.

According to some chinese saying "Man is allowed to eat anything that has its back facing the sky."

Now think about it, what animal doesnt have its back facing the sky when walking? Almost none! Wait a minute, dont babies walk on all fours? You see what i mean? Hence the rumours.

Anyway, you just have to see how they kill the animals to stop eating these foods. I have seen a monkey, lizard and bat been skinned alive and its limbs being choped off without even the slightest sign of simpathy from the butcher. I swear i thought i saw tears from the eyes of the doomed monkey. My Muslim friends tell me the cow to be sacrificed for Aidiladha would normally shed a tear the day before it dies, and they are careful not to let the cow see the knife!

But to us barbarians, food is food. Its just not dead yet, and the later it dies, the fresher the meat. Of course to be fair, we must all remember the beef and chicken we eat didnt die of old age before we get to buy these meats. But i can only hope they were killed in more humane ways

So for once in my life, i finally understand why some people would choose to be vegetarians

My dad use to tell this joke:

3 friends, one American, one British and one Chinese once found a flock of very special birds in the wild. They each took one back to their homeland and met 3 months later.

The American said "We studied it's behaviour and eating habits and intelligence, and when it died, we studied its anatomy and found some very facscinating facts!"

The British said "We managed to teach it how to talk, like parrots and even got it so sing God save the Queen! A truely amazing bird, God rest its soul."

The Chinese said "It tasted great."

Get the point?

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 6:19 pm Comments: 0