Forthnights

As I sat in the train waiting to arrive at my destination, i thought about all that has happened recently. Loosing my motorbike just a week ago and now this. Why do things always seem to happen in a row? Why is it that, just as thing were starting to slowly settle in, things get messed up again. When I talk to the people around me about my motorbike, they all say the same thing; “Just treat it as a RM2600 lesson learnt!” They tell me, just think of it as tuition fees for a new lesson you have just learnt, and a mistake you wont make again in the future and don’t think about the money. Well, I find that a little hard to accept, but it does have its merits.

I have learnt a few things from it. Firstly, just how careless I can be. I forget things a lot. Forget to bring my keys, forget to bring my wallet, or cell phone. Theres always something that I accidentally left out. My father said its something I inherited from him. He told me I better buck up because the same problem cost him his credibility and others trust in him. Well, I certainly took his advice to heart. I have tried to be more critical of myself in things like these. Looking at the bag of fruits laying on my lap, I felt almost happy that I didn’t forget this time. The fruits were for my girlfriend, and I couldn’t afford to forget it this time, of all times.

As I got into the taxi from the train station, fruits in one hand, bag in the other, headed for the hospital. Sitting in the taxi just reminded me yet again (bear with me here ok) of my absent motorbike. A thought occurred to me. Who would want to drink water after tasting wine? After more than half a year of having my own transportation, the cost and hassle of public transport needed time to be adjusted to. But that was precisely what I learnt; That we only truly know the value of things and people around us when we loose them, or they are at risk of being lost.

Heading to the hospital, I knew exactly just what the person at the end of my destination meant to me, and I’m glad I don’t have to loose her before realizing it. I had been worried all night, though there wasn’t much cause to be worried, after all, it wasn’t fatal if treated. That was what my head was telling me. But my heart still stirred, thinking of a classmate from my secondary school years who died from the same sickness. I walked through the hospital headed straight to room 16, mentally recounting all the things I needed to bring. Cloths, check, fruits, check, magazine, check, papers, check. Good. I opened the door, and I am greeted by an entire group of student nurses, all of whom are her classmates, and there in the center, sitting on the bed giving me a quiet smile was (at least to me) the most beautiful girl I have ever come to know and love. She had dengue fever. An illness once upon a time, fatal and even till today there is still no vaccine or cure against it. But early detection and hospitalization usually helps the body heal itself.

The word ‘careless’ literally translated from Mandarin is “Rough Heart”. Loosing my motorbike in such a careless manner has opened my mind to the things around me. I have lacked finesse in the thing that I do. I have lacked the attention to detail. How it is done doesn’t matter, as long as its done. In that sense, I have also been careless in taking care of things which are important to me. I have ‘roughly’ taken care of it only. I am determined to polish up my act. I don’t want my rough heart anymore.

Sitting beside my girlfriend, I remember just how many times she has scolded, nagged and pleaded me about my careless nature. Every time she did that, I felt like The Nutty Professor. Well intentioned, but plain careless and absent minded and disastrous nonetheless. Its one thing to be told not to touch the fire, and a totally different thing being burned by it. The lesson tends be engrained in once you’ve been burnt.