Forthnights

Of clothes and Cash

My shoulder feels tense. Whenever i flex it, the muscle there aches. Im not sure if its the lack of sleep or all the tension around the house that is causing it.

Last night after coming home from tuition, a shouting match broke out between my mother and girlfriend. For a long time now, there has been a cold war going on between the 2. For some reason, my mother cant accept my girlfriend being around. "Now that you have a girlfriend, you forget your mother." she tells me. She has been showing subtle signs of aggression, or passive agrressive towards her, insisting that she still is an outsider. My girlfriend cant really stand my mothers antics. Her saying offensive things without much consideration or judgement. Plus, she feels hurt that after all these years and all that she has done, she is still unaccepted by her. "I'm always in the wrong, you always side you mother." she tells me.

The shouting match begin when we came home, and my girlfriend found her half-washed cloths, spread out messily on top of the washing machine. She asked my mother why her cloths were laid out in a mess like that. My mother responded by accusing her of finding fault with her. She then went on to say that she has been wasting a lot of the soap powder. My girlfriend said if that is so, i will pay you back. She took out the cash and my mother took it. When i came into the picture, the both of them turned to me and started shouting at me at what each other did.

"She mess up my cloths and left it on the washing machine." my girlfriend said.

"She come back immediately find fault with me." my mother said.

I asked her why did she mess up the clothes, she said she was looking for my shirt. She went through the pile of half washed laundrt, took my shirt and hanged it, leaving my girlfriends cloths all in a mess around the machine. She then told my girlfriend not to use the washing machine anymore, and she should wash her own cloths in hostel and not use our soap powder. I asked her why she hanged my cloths and not hang hers, she said she wanted to wait for the sunlight to hang hers. But i think she did it deliberately as some kind of sign of dissapproval.

Over the week, my girlfriend was on leave and she cooked most of the days. But my mother has refused to eat, only eating when i insist on it. "Chicken again" she complains. "I dont like cabbage." "Use so much of the onions. The onions belong to Jynn (my brother). She shouldnt use so much of it." That just among the few of the complains she has been giving.

Furthermore, she makes faces behind peoples back, showing her displeasure to me behind her back, but not showing it in front of that person. Kind of like what you see on tv, when the person makes ugly faces, or shows a sour face behind a persons back to someone else in the room. She has been doing that to many people for many years now. When she showed me that face again last night, i got angry and scolded her, saying she was deceiving and calling her a two faced jackal. I said if she has something she was unhappy about, say it out in the open and not talk being people back or make hateful faces.

Out of the blue, she goes on again asking me to return her 5 dollars for the money she spent taking the taxi 2 months ago. She asked me to chase my friends for their money since they ate with us at home. I told her i have to money to give her, barely having enough even for myself. I was angry at this because i know she has more money in her purse than the rest of us combine. Yet, here she was, fighting with her own son and all the people around her for every tooth and nail, every penny and cent. I was hurt. I asked her has she ever asked me if I have enough money. She kept quiet. The obvious obvious.

"Hardship brings out the worst and the best in people. Now, when we are all so financially tight, you show me that all you care about is your own pocket. You secure yourself at the expense of others, even your own son. Even pa, with no money to give me still ask me if im ok, if i have enough to spend. You on the other hand, sit on your golden treasure chest and aske me for the last penny i have in my pocket. I know that is how you have been surviving alone all these years, but you are living in a family now. We are all on the same ship, we are all in this together. If you still think only of yourself, the you really have lost all sense of togetherness and family. "
I know those were harsh words, but i was just so frustrated at her. She stashed away the money my brother gave her, living on my allowance instead. Not that its wrong, but i dont have a tree growing coins and im still a student, with expenses. "You aske me to come here to live, so i shouldnt have to pay for anything. I am a girl, you as the man shouldnt make me pay." she said.

"Why did you bother coming back if you say you are so torture and unhappy here?" i asked her. She stared at me not knowing what to say. "Who asked you to force me to sell the house?" she asked me in return. Its impossible trying to talk to her in this condition. Its impossible to get through to her.

I think i have just about reach my witts end dealing with this whole matter. Not only do i have my own studies to worry about, i am trapped between my mother and girlfriend, now openly at odds with each other and im dead broke, having receving almost no money from my brother or father for the month of July. I have to find a solution for both of them and myself, before we all loose our sanity.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 10:09 am Comments: 0