Runaway mom(again)
I am at a lost as to how to express what has just happened. For the second time in a month, my mother has run away. Yes, she ran away again, right under my nose, yes, again without any money or anything but the cloths on her back. We were at home, it was morning, and I was in the washroom. Before I entered, she was just collecting the dry cloths from the balcony, and when I came out, she was gone, with the door open. Where did she go to? The truth of it hit me moments later. She ran away, again. If she wanted to go for a walk, she would have surely told me, but the sneaky manner in which she left the house, making sure she didn’t make any noise, told me that she wanted to get away without being notice. To make a long story short, my father and I rushed to Pudu station to try to catch her (again), assuming that she would head up north again. Needless to say, we couldn’t find her. Talk about looking for a needle in a hay stack. So now, I am left pondering just where and how my mother has ended up wherever she is, and waiting for her to contact us, if she does at all.I feel betrayed by her. I put trust with her, thinking after what happened the last time, she would come to her senses and not try the same thing again. I felt that I could finally reason with her, and that things were moving forward in a positive direction. She was in the house with me on the day she ran away (this time) because I brought her to stay a night with us, because she requested to spend time at home with us once a week. But as it is, she has taken the first opportunity she got and immediately made a run for it and in the process, crumbling whatever trust I had for her. But course, I realize that being mentally ill, I cannot fully make her be responsible for her actions, but all notions of trust I had for her are now gone, and if ever we manage to get her safely back again, I will not be extending the same amount of privilege and trust anymore. When the home put CCTV surveillance cameras and grilled doors, my mother sounded her disapproval, and I agreed, but now I’m starting to think twice about it. I find it more and more difficult to try and reason with her or entertain her wishes and request because she has taken advantage of it with total disregard for the consequences of her actions to others.
Right now, I am emotionally stretched thin, weary and frustrated. I have no idea when or how we are going to get her back, or if we will ever get her back for the matter. I do not know what the best course of action concerning her welfare should be. To keep her in the home seems to torment her mind and an enormous financial burden on us, but surely staying alone up north, being all alone, mentally ill and at the mercy of strangers is no better. It is a choice between two evils. Just when you think things cant get any worse, the impossible happens.
Murphy’s Law: If there is a possibility of something going wrong, it will.
posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 7:28 pm
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