Forthnights

Headaches and Specs

For almost an entire month now, I have been walking around as if everything is just a blur to me. Maybe you might think im just no paying enough attention to my surroundings, but in fact, I have been walking walking that way because, well, things ARE a blur to me. You see, i lost my spectacles (again) some while ago.

I clipped it on my shirt, and 10 minutes later, its missing. Yeah, i know, its my carelessness again. If i had taken good care of it, it would not have been missing. But to my defense, let me just say firstly, that that spectacle was actually nearing the end of its life. The power on the lenses were not enough anymore, and the paint around the frame was already all chipped off. Secondly, my girlfriend and friends have been telling me for months to get a new pair. (I dont wear contacts, by the way. Just cant stand sticking someting into my eye everyday). I said no because, honestly i wasnt willing to spend what little money i had on getting a new pair of specs, since for my old one was still no broken or anything, just a little worn out.

When i lost my specs and told my friends, they said "Its about time for you to get a new specs anyway. You see, even fate is asking you to get a new one, not just us." But that was 1 month ago, and im still relying on my own to eyes still. My friends ask me why i have not bought a new pair yet. I have been copying notes during the lecture from my friends since i cant see the board clearly! I just smile and say "Not yet la... lazy to go and do." Well, half true actually.

I AM a little lazy to go get a new one. Dont think i dont want to. Because i have some astigmatism in my eyes, i get a headhache when i dont wear spectacles. Especially when im facing a monitor (like now) or when i've been doin a lot of reading (like exam times now). So o have been having headaches almost everyday for almost a month now.

WHen telling my friends, i left out the 'no money' part. Coz, really, the reason i have not got a new pair is because if i got a new pair, i'd have to eat bread crumbs for the rest of the month (not literally of course). Its embarrasing to say to friends "I dont have enough money to get a new pair." Especially when they are sharing with you how great their new top-of-the-line Nokia phone is.

"I got it at a real bargain, RM1100. When are you going to join us and get YOURSELF a smartphone? I've been telling for months! Then we can bluetooth each other."

HmmMm.... Im not sure if you've ever been in that kind of a situation, but one half of you takes a real beating from it. "Im poor." you think to yourself. BUt the other half of you just stands up in defiance, refusing to submit to the humiliation of having no money. "I dont need it, and neither do you really. You spend money without knowing its real value. You dont realise that the money you so easily get and spend every month would mean the difference between going to be hungry or not to someone." Of course, i didnt say that out loud, just thinking it!

Anyway, back to my specs. I hope to make one as soon as i have enough cash to do so. Especially with my exams coming up. The headaches are getting to me, since i cant concentrate long on something before getting a headache.



On other matters, my mom is doing 'fine' i guess. She's physically ok, but mentally just at the border. She can take care of herself well enough, but still being very difficult, so my statues quo with her remains. Sunday morning, i received a call from a concered friend. He told me he saw my mother walking about in the shops, looking not too alright. I knew she just went out to the morning market but thanked him nonetheless. I understand how he could think there was something wrong with her. It would take you just one look to know that there is something different with my mother. Everywhere i go with her, i get stares from people passing by. Its not surprising. SHe twitches her mouth alot, her hands are a little stiff, and she always touches her blinking eyes and her lips. I guess most of it is the side effects of the medicine, and some of it just sticked with her, even when she's not on the medicine. Other than that, she has pretty much been ok. I have given her a free hand to do as she pleases as long as she doesnt get in trouble. Other than that, i dont talk much to her,and she mainly reserves her conversations for my brother.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 6:06 pm Comments: 0