Forthnights

Runaway mom... there she is again

Latest update on my mom

She returned. She just gave me a call and said she is back in KL in front of our doorstep, but she cant get in because she lost her keys.

I wasnt really surprised to see her. I half expected her to show up one of these days. When i arrived home, she was sitting on the floor outside the door, leaning on the wall. I didnt say anything, just opened the door and let her in. It is obvious she hasnt really been taking any medication since she immediately started blabering all sorts of nonsense from her little one week adventure, complaining how living in a small town is better than in KL. I wasnt in the mood to listen to any of it and i told her so. She asked me why was i still angry after one week. I just kept quiet. Not wanting to deal with her, i sent a message to my brother to call me back, but he didnt call.

I partiall knew what she had been up to. Just earlier in the day, my father got a call from the house buyer up north, complaining that my mother had been causing all sorts of havoc to the people there. She returned the check to the buyer, she badgered them about her debt to the bank, and worst of all, since she lost her keys and couldnt get into the house, she got someone to break the darn door down. The buyer called my father complaining that the house has been left wide ajar without a proper door for the past few days. She had come, broke the door down, did whatever she wanted to do, and just left like that.

And there she was, standing in front of me again. I didnt want to care, didnt want to hear what she had to say. My first temptation was to ask her for her medication and start administering it to her again. My second thought was to get my brother to come so that we can admit her into a hospital to stabilize her. But since i didnt want to turn into the bad guy again so quickly, and my brother didnt call back, i did neither. im not sure how the next few days are going to pass now that shes back. But i can say for certain that if she continues with this unstable streak, i will have to do something. Either send her to a hospital or get my brother involved in it somehow. As long as im not alone at the front line, biting all the bullets. Its bad enough having to deal with exams looming and a tonne of unfinished assignments, barely 1 hour back home, she is already asking me to give her my tuition class earnings and fifty dollars extra from my girlfriend for her to cook everyday.

I know its mean of me, i know its selfish of me not showing the same level of determination as i did previously. But to me, my mother has proven herself capable of getting what she wants. After all, she literally just came and went as she liked. The entire week away, she didnt spend a cent. Her meals were covered by the people she regularly ask money from. She even managed to get a free bus ticket back to KL but persuading the ticket seller that she was a psychiatric patient, she should not need to pay. Talk about being manipulative. She willingly exploits her condition to her own advantage, but will fight to the end with me the minute i mention she needs medication.

Right now, at this very moment, she doesnt seem like a victim to me, though i know thats not entirely true. Instead, i am starting to feel victimized by this whole drama, being caught smack in the middle. Maybe thats why im still angry. Because from being the person trying to take care of her, i now feel like the victim instead. And because of that, i begrudge her, refusing to show any care or sympathy towards her.

Maybe you are right my anonymous friend. I should just sell the bike and go to Phuket or something without my mom. But then again, if i bring her, we may get free tickets to come home.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 10:37 pm Comments: 1