Forthnights

What do you get when you fall in love?

Love can just be so frustrating some times.

Truth be told, i dont even know what we are fighthing about. I guess its more of an accumulation of all the stress from this past month. Suddenly we are at each others neck, suddenly we are taking swipe at each other......

I know only that i have been on a short fuse these few weeks. I know she has been worried sick about me and how im coping. I know that she cant stand seeing me having to go through all of this. But I also know that she is as stubborn as hell, that she wount yield in argument. "you know im like that," she would say.....

On the other hand, she's fierce as hell.. that's a good thing, and a bad thing. Good when she's on your side, coz you know they have your back no matter what. Bad if you step on her toes, you'll get bitten no matter who you are. There was a period of time when she felt that the whole world hates her. She felt that no one understands her....

I told her that she was the kind of person you either love or hate. No in between. They either die for you, or they want to see you die... in a way..... I told her that she was tragically misunderstood a lot of times. Jokingly, i told her that she was like a crocodile.... and question marks were all over her face.

I told her crocodiles are on of the most misunderstood creatures on each. We all have a natural fear of crocodiles, and we all think of it as the bad guy. Proof? In Malay there is a proverb "Sungai yang tenang jangan disangka tiada buaya." meaning dont think theres no croc in a calm river! Then theres the Sang Kancil stories where the smart little mouse deer always outwits the dumb and greedy crocs eager to eat her up. We all dont like crocodiles. We are filled with fear and disdain when we see documentaries of poor baby deers being chopped away by a crocodile.... But thats not all of it. Crocodiles are in fact one of the most effective predators on earth. They have survived the dinasours, and they are only doing what God created them to do. They are just so good at what they do that people fear them, people dislike them, fear them because we dont understand them. Actually, crocodiles are very good mothers. Probably one of the best mothers in the world They guard their nest jealously and ruthlessly against all other creatures. Try thinking of a crocodile as a mother defending her young, doing what she needs to and perhaps your view on it will change.

"Your a crocodile." I said to her. You are good at what you do, and people fear you for that. You are ruthlessly efficient in what you do, but people dont understand why. But in truth, you are just misunderstood......


I dont want to get into the details. Its too tiring to recollect everything, and I'm fuzzy on the details too. Why was i angry again? Why is she angry again? I fail to recall.... but right now... love just seems to hurt....... So let me just leave you this song... go find the song, Burt Burt Bacharach & Elvis Costello, Ill never fall in love again..... the song is so beautiful, but so sad. Kind of like how i feel right now..

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 7:33 pm Comments: 1