Forthnights

Love Makes The World Go Round!

It's strange how at one moment, you can be feeling on top of the world with the person you love most and the next you find yourself arguing and fighting like there is no tommorrow with the same person. I guess it has something to do with being in love. The feeling of love is so intense sometimes that every feeling and emotion seems to be amplified a hundred times and the world around you seems larger that life. So strong is the feeling that when you laugh, the joy is so real and so joyous, and when you cry it seems like the world has fallen apart, and when you are angry, the rage seems to be so crazy.

I find it hard to explain why we fight sometimes. Just a few minutes ago, you are just fine and suddenly, the mood changes, maybe it was me, maybe it was her, I don't know. But suddenly there is a war of words and from there it gets bigger and bigger and you don't want to walk together and subsequently, you can't even see each other anymore. I have a very short memory when it comes to these things and after a while a fail to see the point of continuing the fight. I soon forget how the fight even started and suddenly just want the fight to end. But once it has started, it is not so easily ended. But I know that eventually we will come to terms and make peace like we always do.

I have always tried to see fights as something natural and essential in any relationship. It is only natural that 2 people with very intense feelings for each other occasionally fight. But how do you know where to draw the line? How do you know if you are fighting a little too much? It will have to vary in every relationship. But being the only two people that know the relationship the best, you are in the exclusive position of judging it for yourself, which poses a problem. How do I know it I am seeing this in the right way? Sometimes after you fight, you feel horrible and at the worst, you consider that maybe you are not right for each other after all.

A lot of people seem to hold on to the concept of two people being meant for each other. That in life, you are supposed to go finding for the one person predestined to be your life partner, and if the one you are with now does not suit your taste, you just tell them "We are not meant for each other." and go on till you find The One. I for one totally reject this idea. It is based on the belief that everything is predestined. But I like to believe that I at least have some control over how my life is going to be. My darling always asks me "Do you think we are right for each other?" I always struggle with that question but in the end I always give her the same answer. I say that as long as you and I both want to be in this relationship and we are still willing to go through what challenges that may come for the both of us, the the answer is Yes. Somehow, I cannot let go of this believe. I find it hard to accept that even when two people put all their heart and soul into their relationship, it still fails. Why is it that divorces are so common? Do people always fall out of love? Coming from a broken home, I still struggle to understand what is it that keeps two people together permanently. Why is it that so many relationships fail after many years but some remain for life?

All this brings me to my relationship with darling. I love her very much and I have been one hundred percent committed to this relationship. Even when we fight (like today) I always know that I love her and that this small fight is not enough to break us. When the heart fails to feel, the head reminds and when the head hesitates, the heart guides us. That is how I always remind myself that I love her. I learnt some years ago that love is not just a feeling, it is an act. If you love someone, then love her. Not just by feeling it, but by staying loyal, by caring, by taking care of her, by making sacrifices, and by always know the difference between how you feel at the moment and how you truly feel about that person. A lot of people get confused about that.

They tend to associate how they feel at the moment with how they feel about that person. Thankfully, with me and darling it's not like that. I am extremely proud of the fact that even when we fight, we both have assurance and confidence that we both love each other. It gives you a solid platform and makes you realise that this fight is not something that will rock and shake this relationship, but something that will make you grow stronger and understand each other better. After all, you eventually have to learn how to communicate with your loved one if you are to stand a chance to endure the test of time. But then, in a relationship, the learning is continuous  and never ending.

I just had a fight with daring. But when she shut the door in front of me and sped of in the taxi, I know that underneath her anger and rage, there is a side of her that just wanted to hug me and tell me she loves me, just like she knows I love her. I am not worried because I'm sure in no time, we will be on the phone again, telling each other how much we love each other. Let me assure you, love is not just a feeling, if it was there wouldn't be the saying "Love makes the world go round."

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 10:10 pm Comments: 0