Forthnights

Making a comeback

After what seems like an eternity of self imposed exile from blogging, i am finally here again. Glad to say, the exams are over and i survived it (something i didn't expect to do). But here i am again and irony has set in. Before, i wished that i had more time to just fool around and not worry about anything, every day saw surely filled with things that i had to do. Today, i have absolutely nothing to do and i feel empty and hollow inside. Ironic? I'm happy to be free but overwhelmed by the vastness of nothingness.
Needless to say, alot has happened since before the exam. I now have to decide when to go down to see my mother. i dread it everytime i have to go down there. It's not my mother that is the problem, rather it's the people and the place that bring back memories of the past that i rather not remember. But i do want to see my mother, wanting to see her than not seeing her and possibly regreting it for the rest of my life. My brother is even worst off. He can't stand the thought of going back. He probably dreads it more than i do. It's hard to believe that it has been this many years and we are all grown up. My father used to worry if we were going to make it if anything happened to them, but now that we are older, he isn't that worried.
Alot of things are on my mind now, but i can't seem to find words to describe them. i am still worried about money, flat broke. I don't think i did well in my exams and i'm just feeling rather empty, not sure why. Everything seems right and ok but at the same time, something is missing.....
I read in The Star a few weeks back people arguing about blogging and it's effects, bad or good. From what i read, teenagers seem to defend blogging as their right. A parent that wrote in to complain about how her blog friends encouraged her to just express whatevery he/she felt against her parents and that her parents were totally unreasonable. Other teens replied to the bulletin by futher supporting the kid! Saying that parents are unreasonable and that the blog is merely a tool to express their frustrations. Very well said. But i felt that those very statements that they have made have proven again why parents just do not exhibit trust to their children. The children do not exhibit any sense of maturity or ability to be considerate of the feelings of all, rather than just their own. Teens are a selfish bunch, IN GENERAl. There are some great teens, whom i'm sure will turn out into great people, but there are a lot of those jerks that seem so self centred and try to act in a mature and enlightened way.
You can't hide your character, and these people who try to do so by acting in a snobbish manner thinking that they are mature enough only emphasize their flaws all the more. I could go on and on about the good and bad of us young adults, but i have to stop here. Everyone, regardless of age possses a certain level of maturity. This maturity is everyones own personal journey. It would be unfair to expect people to live up to our expextations. Some may have gone a long way and are rather mature, underneath the exterior. Some have not gone through much and the exterior does not reflect on the inside.
Well, i'm at a blur right now. I find a certain comfort in writting blogs like this. No one will read this and anyone can read it. It gives me a sense of everything and nothing at the same time. I'll blog another time. Meanwhile, i'm signing off.

posted by Compulsive Blogger @ 11:28 am Comments: 1